Machine Mode
It's that time of year again. The planets have aligned and brought about that dreadful interim which I feel cannot be described by any other words besides "hell." I am talking, of course, about exam week.
Unlike last semester, when I had only 1 exam due to all my professors being fired, I have exams in all my classes--all four of my upper-level Computer Science classes. Before Friday ends, I will have taken 4 exams, turned in 3 major projects, and programmed 5 labs in 3 different programming languages. You know that horrible moment when, after putting everything off until the last possible minute, you realize that you have finally reached the last possible minute? That happened about 3 days ago... meaning that my minute will be over a week long. But not to worry, though some marvel of college student evolution, I have developed an adaptation to cope with just such a minute.
I call it "machine mode." It is the state I enter at the end of every semester when the work piles up so high that low flying aircraft have to be redirected. It happens like this: I pause for a moment to consider my calendar. I come to the realization that I have several large projects due in a few days and several exams to study for and take in the process. I evaluate the situation and decided if I can afford even one more hour of procrastination. If the answer is "no" I shift into machine mode, a truly sub-human means of existence by which I can achieve super-human feats. In machine mode, I have been known to write entire research papers in a single sitting--usually an 8 hour + endeavor--without so much as blinking. Like a rat in some sort of post-apocalyptic wasteland, my body manages to subsist on the occasional yield of the poorly-stocked vending machines around campus, and I begin to focus so intensely that the common man might mistake me for a victim of an Aderol overdose. My skin begins to turn a sort of light olive color, and I slowly begin to take on the traits of a subterranean bat-creature.
By the end of the process, I am left physically and mentally drained and stop responding to all outside stimuli for about 48 hours. My trusted friends attach me to a feeding tube and wait patiently for me to come-to, at which point I am back to normal. That's how it goes. A bit extreme you say? Yes, it is. Worth an entire semester of slacking off? Hell yes. So, in summary, if I don't post for the next few days, know that I am curled up in the fetal position and tucked away in some dark corner of Loyola, churning out programs at an incredible rate. I'll be back to normal next week.
Unlike last semester, when I had only 1 exam due to all my professors being fired, I have exams in all my classes--all four of my upper-level Computer Science classes. Before Friday ends, I will have taken 4 exams, turned in 3 major projects, and programmed 5 labs in 3 different programming languages. You know that horrible moment when, after putting everything off until the last possible minute, you realize that you have finally reached the last possible minute? That happened about 3 days ago... meaning that my minute will be over a week long. But not to worry, though some marvel of college student evolution, I have developed an adaptation to cope with just such a minute.
I call it "machine mode." It is the state I enter at the end of every semester when the work piles up so high that low flying aircraft have to be redirected. It happens like this: I pause for a moment to consider my calendar. I come to the realization that I have several large projects due in a few days and several exams to study for and take in the process. I evaluate the situation and decided if I can afford even one more hour of procrastination. If the answer is "no" I shift into machine mode, a truly sub-human means of existence by which I can achieve super-human feats. In machine mode, I have been known to write entire research papers in a single sitting--usually an 8 hour + endeavor--without so much as blinking. Like a rat in some sort of post-apocalyptic wasteland, my body manages to subsist on the occasional yield of the poorly-stocked vending machines around campus, and I begin to focus so intensely that the common man might mistake me for a victim of an Aderol overdose. My skin begins to turn a sort of light olive color, and I slowly begin to take on the traits of a subterranean bat-creature.
By the end of the process, I am left physically and mentally drained and stop responding to all outside stimuli for about 48 hours. My trusted friends attach me to a feeding tube and wait patiently for me to come-to, at which point I am back to normal. That's how it goes. A bit extreme you say? Yes, it is. Worth an entire semester of slacking off? Hell yes. So, in summary, if I don't post for the next few days, know that I am curled up in the fetal position and tucked away in some dark corner of Loyola, churning out programs at an incredible rate. I'll be back to normal next week.
posted by Stephen at 10:02 PM
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